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All forms of stress have an emotional element, but the emotional energy created by stress can be used to your advantage.
Essentially, emotions are resources which when used skilfully, will have a positive effect.
To begin with it is important to distinguish between thought, intuition, sensation and emotion. You will find those four distinct aspects of human functioning.
When your intention is to communicate emotions but you find yourself talking about thoughts, intuition or sensation, you will probably cross messages with the person you are communicating with.
What are emotional skills?
Emotional skills can be developed and there is a popular misconception that once a person reaches maturity, they are supposed to have learned all there is to know about emotions. However, just as you can develop new sales, technical or intellectual skills, you can, in exactly the same way continue to build on your emotional skills.
These skills include:
* Control - emotional control is essential in many situations
* Awareness - including being aware of your own emotions
* Communication - self-disclosure helps to build trust
* Catharsis - being able to let go of your feelings where appropriate
* Transformation - transferring the emotional energy constructively
How to build emotional skills
In order to improve and build on these important skills there are a number of steps you can take . Some may be familiar to you whilst others will need some practice.
¢ Control
- learn breathing and relaxation techniques
- remove yourself from stressful situations
- change the subject to something you are comfortable with
- focus on the positive aspects of your life
¢ Awareness
- accept that you have every right to be emotional
- recognise the areas of tension in your body
- understand that you can feel more than one emotion at a time
- notice how particular emotions affect your actions
¢ Communication
- practice finding the words to describe your feelings
- share your emotions with other people
- when you feel vulnerable find a good and trusted listener
- when you feel uncomfortable with someone, tell them how you feel
- take an interest in how other people feel
¢ Catharsis
- pick an appropriate time and place to let off steam
- practice catharsis - initiate yourself gently
- dont expect it to be spontaneous to begin with
- only use inanimate objects!
¢ Transformation
- use physical activity to unlock energy reserves
- put your feelings into something creative
- gradually increase your body fitness
- consider using meditation
˜People are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of them!
Epictetus (Greek Philosopher)
Copyright © 2006 Jonathan Farrington. All rights reserved
Essentially, emotions are resources which when used skilfully, will have a positive effect.
To begin with it is important to distinguish between thought, intuition, sensation and emotion. You will find those four distinct aspects of human functioning.
When your intention is to communicate emotions but you find yourself talking about thoughts, intuition or sensation, you will probably cross messages with the person you are communicating with.
What are emotional skills?
Emotional skills can be developed and there is a popular misconception that once a person reaches maturity, they are supposed to have learned all there is to know about emotions. However, just as you can develop new sales, technical or intellectual skills, you can, in exactly the same way continue to build on your emotional skills.
These skills include:
* Control - emotional control is essential in many situations
* Awareness - including being aware of your own emotions
* Communication - self-disclosure helps to build trust
* Catharsis - being able to let go of your feelings where appropriate
* Transformation - transferring the emotional energy constructively
How to build emotional skills
In order to improve and build on these important skills there are a number of steps you can take . Some may be familiar to you whilst others will need some practice.
¢ Control
- learn breathing and relaxation techniques
- remove yourself from stressful situations
- change the subject to something you are comfortable with
- focus on the positive aspects of your life
¢ Awareness
- accept that you have every right to be emotional
- recognise the areas of tension in your body
- understand that you can feel more than one emotion at a time
- notice how particular emotions affect your actions
¢ Communication
- practice finding the words to describe your feelings
- share your emotions with other people
- when you feel vulnerable find a good and trusted listener
- when you feel uncomfortable with someone, tell them how you feel
- take an interest in how other people feel
¢ Catharsis
- pick an appropriate time and place to let off steam
- practice catharsis - initiate yourself gently
- dont expect it to be spontaneous to begin with
- only use inanimate objects!
¢ Transformation
- use physical activity to unlock energy reserves
- put your feelings into something creative
- gradually increase your body fitness
- consider using meditation
˜People are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of them!
Epictetus (Greek Philosopher)
Copyright © 2006 Jonathan Farrington. All rights reserved
In all our relationships, it is the quality of the emotional interaction that determines their success.
We run public courses in the UK to accelerate the development of emotional skills subtitles, Leadership, Teamwork and Self-awareness
Bill Quinn, Huddersfield, England - December 4th, 2006